[Review] Western Animation: Steven Universe Seasons 3 & 4, or "How to Mess Up a Good Thing"(Spoilers, you clod!)
Prepare yourself for Autism.
Part One: Prologue.
Looking back on Season 1 of this show, I've come to the realization that it really isn't that good. It has a very rough start, like I mentioned. The show only really gets good around episode 26, halfway through the series. I said that I didn't really mind that much, because I enjoyed all the slice of life type filler episodes. This remains true, but people are right when they say it takes a long time for the show to become the show people are so obsessed with. My favorite episode of Season 1, the one that made me go "Yeah, I'm hooked. I wanna see where this show and its characters go.", was "Rose's Scabbard", which also fully cemented Pearl as my favorite character. Guess which episode that is? 45. Episode Forty-fucking-Five. You know the episode where Garnet sings her cool ripoff of Just the Two of Us and kicks in the shit of a buff orange bulldyke before crashing a ship into the earth? That's episode 51, the last episode of the first season.
This isn't to mention that it's obvious the people making this didn't know what they were doing at first. Steven is based on Rebecca Sugar's little brother, and The Crystal Gems are based on aspects of Sugar herself. Thus, it's no surprise that a lot of people don't like the characters at first, they're based on two liberal millenials after all. Sugar even wears thick rimmed glasses. I didn't have the same problem but I am a very lenient person when it comes to characters, and often find myself liking ones everyone else hates, but I can certainly see why that might be a problem. And why you might not wanna sit through 25 episodes about characters you don't really like fucking about.
These things combined with the slice of life episodes usually developing side characters no one really cares about, make the first season very difficult to get through for someone who for wasn't hypnotized by it for some reason like I was. I edited the score of S1 to a 4/5.
Season 2 on the other hand, I still rate a 5/5. I don't think there are any episodes I don't like in season 2, at least I can't think of any off the top of my head. Season 2 was fuckin' great, by then they knew what they were doing, you were already endeared by and invested in the characters, and you knew just enough about the "overarching"(not sure it is anymore) plot to really wanna keep goin'. It had some of my favorite episodes, like "Sworn to the Sword", "Chille Tid", "We Need to Talk", the whole sub-arc where Pearl does some fucked up shit and Garnet's traumatized by it, and of course all the Peridot episodes.
Then we have season 3. This is where things went wrong.
Part Two: In Too Deep
Okay, let's go.
I wanna start off by saying the whole season isn't bad. In fact, early on in it is really great, and a lot of the not good episodes are just mediocre. But there's the problem of the episode "Gem Drill", and to explain that we need a lil backstory.
So you know Season 2 was not meant to end where it did. It ended on episode 26, "Log Date: 7 15 2", a decidedly not season finale. This was because of behind the scenes stuff. CN renewed the show for 3 more seasons, BUT the seasons were now going to be 26 episodes instead of 51, and the episodes they had remaining for season 2 were going to be part of season 3. That's fine, right? Well yeah, except they went on hiatus again instead of continuing into S3. So we waited. And waited, with the few dates we got being pushed back. And then they came out with this season premier special of two episodes, called "In Too Deep". It came with this crazy fuckin' trailer that made it seem fuckin' EPIKKK AZ SHEEEEET BROOOOOO. Weeeeeeeeell, it wasn't.
The first episode, "Super Watermelon Island", was good. You got to see what became of the Watermelon Stevens created in one of the earlier episodes of S1, something I had no fucking clue would become relevant again. There was a cool fight against Malachite with Alexandrite and that was baller. Then came the episode "Gem Drill", the moment we were all waiting for, when we'd finally go and confront The Cluster, the world destroying eldritch abomination formed from the partial consciousness of tens of thousands of shattered gems, forced together by madmen(madwomen?), that was built up for at least half of Season 2!
And this episode was... uh... well it wasn't, bad exactly...
The episode was the same 10 minutes as always, and The Cluster was pacified in about half that time. Yeah. Some people complained about the method that was used, but if you're a fan of this show I don't see how that can bother you much. Steven used the power of love and understanding to pacify TC and convince it to help him put it in a protective bubble that will prevent it from forming completely and destroying the world, also allowing it to stay there until he can find away to fix it or at least mercy kill it. This is par for the course for SU. However, what's really bullshit is that this world stopping force of destruction was taken care of so easily. Like what the fuck? You build this thing up, you even show it looking similar to fucking LAVOS on a screen they were looking at, you make it seem like taking care of this thing is gonna be some big ordeal, maybe take several episodes at the least, and it's done in 5 god damn minutes? Are you kidding me? I got fuckin BLUE BALLS over this shit! I NEED TO CLIMAX GOD DAMMIT. WHERE IS MY CLIMAX!?
But okay, I was upset, but hey not a big deal right I mean I shoulda known. It wasn't the staff who hyped this up really, it was CN and their marketing. I fell for it, I shouldn't have expected something big. And hey! The next few episodes were real damn good!
"Same Old World", "Barn Mates", "Hit the Diamond"? All great episodes. And then came "Mr. Greg", my all time favorite fuckin' episode. Pearl goes with a newly enriched Greg and not-rich Steven to "Empire City" to spend some money and have a good time. It is here that, partially through song, Pearl and Greg resolve their differences and bond over their mutual fondness for Steven's mother, Rose Quartz. Pearl sings my favorite song in the whole show, "It's over, isn't it?" too.
Then, it happened. I guess the name of that song was a sign.
Part Three: It Begins.
Joe Johnston stopped being a storyboard artist on the show. While he's still credited in directing he's a "supervising" director, aka not really. He was responsible for the storyboarding of a lot of the better episodes, especially the early episodes of this season, including Super Watermelon Island(but not Gem Drill... hmm). He also seems to be supervising directing(???) less now as well. Somehow, the combination of Joe Johnston and Jeff Liu on a lot of the important episodes really helped it seems. He may have well been needed, as there were quite a lot of filler episodes after this.
And unlike the ones before a lot of these weren't very good, developed very little, and made it feel like no one knew what they were doing.
Also, at some point, I dunno when, allegedly another storyboard artist quit because they weren't gonna put his/her OTP in the actual show, so they hired a tumblr fanartist Sugar liked. I don't know if this is true, but I really wouldn't doubt it. I bet it was before a certain episode.
Now we're gonna do something a lil different. We're gonna mini-review each episode of Seasons 3(post-Mr. Greg) and 4 to better illustrate what went wrong, and why these seasons just aren't as good, and why I'm worried for the future of the show.
Part Four: Cartoon Network Renewed Us For 3 More Seasons, What Do We Do?
"Too Short to Ride":
I actually like this one, and it's actually not filler because it's where Peridot awakens to her metalmancy powers. She can now telekinetically move metals. WITH HER MIND. Also it's just fun and cute. But I can't help but notice she kinda seems... smaller than usual?
"The New Lars":
Shitty filler episode about Lars so who cares. Steven also gets the power to body-swap which is never used again and doesn't make sense to be a power he has.
"Beach City Drift":
Okay, now this fuckin' episode is good. I don't care that they refer to Stevonnie as "they" in this one, it's a fucking Initial D parody and it's great.
"Restaurant Wars & Kiki's Pizza Delivery Service":
These ones are okay I guess? Like, Pearl shows up in a waiter outfit and that's cute, there's also a End of Evangelion reference(you can't tell me that's not what it was), but it's about characters no one gives a shit about. They're filler. Next.
"Monster Reunion":
This one should be good but it's kinda not, and we don't really learn anything because Sugar doesn't know where she's going with this. It's about the Centipeedle Mother who we'd bubbled up to now. She comes out, regains a semblance of her original form, draws some shit that tells us she was once an officer, and that's really it. I think we leave her in one of the downed UFOs. Maybe next time.
"Alone at Sea":
This one ain't terrible but there's a strong feeling of Sugar's desire to make a commentary on homosexual relationships, and I just don't wanna hear her musings. Every time she comes back in to storyboard an episode this shows up at least once, and when we're talking about Jasper and Lapis it becomes very uncomfortable, and not a metaphor kids should be hearing. I don't like this one.
"Greg the Babysitter":
This episode is unnecessary and uninteresting, which is weird because I really like flashback to Greg and Rose's relationship episodes. Oh well.
"Gem Hunt":
This episode was actually good!
"Crack the Whip & Steven vs. Amethyst":
These two are also actually good. They develop Amethyst a lot more, and have some cool fight scenes against Jasper, and later with well... Steven and Amethyst. It goes more into Amethyst's feelings of inadequacy, something she and Pearl have in common, and actually manages to make me like her some because I feel like she's really finally starting to go through an arc. guesswhattheyfuckitup
"Bismuth":
This one's a two-parter and boy does it suck major balls. So in Lion's Mane, there was a sealed bubble with a strange gem in it. No one knew who or what this gem was or why it was sealed. There were many theories, and much speculation. Maybe it was some kind of huge threat, so big of one that Rose had to seal it away? Maybe Steven will unleash it and then have to defeat it, finally living up to his mother's legacy? Well, no, because this is the gem of Bismuth, an ugly ham-beast who's less feminine than Jasper, yet is still somehow a "she". Don't get me started on that stuff maybe some other time. But point is "she's" an ugly man-woman, so that's already one strike against her. Then of course is there's the problem of her feeling like a fanfiction OC. Garnet and Pearl remember her and actually really fucking like her, yet she was never mentioned before. She's also incredibly powerful and everyone thinks she's cool. She's also wise, reminding the gems of things they'd forgotten about. She also makes weapons, and upgrades all of the gems' weapons. At first I thought this was gonna be a thing, Amethyst even mentions it's weird they never mentioned her. You know that episode of Rick and Morty, with the alien that makes you have a flashback with it in it, and when you're done you think you've know it forever? I thought it was like that. That'd make sense right? That's why Rose sealed her away, she was a spy with crazy memory warping powers?
It's not that. The only twist is that Rose sealed Bismuth away because she went too HAM and made a pile-bunker to shatter gems with, and Rose was too much of a goody goody to let her do that. This episode sucks. But to be honest? The next ones are worse. This at least establishes that Rose wasn't so perfect, makes Steven start to question her(which leads to another arc of his), and also has him make the painful but necessary choice to incapacitate Bismuth and re-seal her. This next one? wew lad
"Beta & Earthlings":
Oh good lord. So you know how I said they fucked up this arc for Amethyst? This is how they do it. This episode is bad. Well the first half is fine, though I dunno how I feel about Peridot and Lapis making weird modern art that they call "meepmorp". Also huh, did Peridot get smaller again??? Anyway the real kicker comes when they go to the Beta Kindergarten where Jasper was made, and actually finds her there. She attacks them with a corrupted gem that she's tamed(which I call a Behemoth Gem, due to its design), as well as herself. Amethyst tries to defeat her and make up for her screw-ups before, but fails again. Then she launches into a really poorly written angst rant, to which Steven replies with some cringeworthy lines about their special snowflakeness... and then they fuse.
That's right. People wondered for a long time, which gem will Steven fuse with first? We know he can, he's fused with Connie to create Stevonnie. Well, it's Amethyst. And this is what their fusion looks like:
I put this here because you need to see it and I'm not letting you get out of it by not clicking a link. Look at this monstrosity. Let it be burned into your retinas. This is the face of true tumblr. This is why I think it's true they hired a tumblr fanartist, that's the only person who could come up with this. Actually, no, you know what? Tumblr could do better. Deviantart could do better. In fact, people have made better Original Fusions than this. Dear fucking LORD this is bad. Look at it. I actually like freckles, Smoky Quartz' freckles are disgusting. Unappealing skin tone, seriously who actually likes this color? Absolutely appalling outfit, generic ugly NB fashion somehow done even worse, exposed midriff like why is it supposed to be sexy???, short stumpy little legs, oh and don't forget THE GOD DAMN 3 ARMS. ITS A 3 ARMED FREAK. Get all those diversity points! They're some kinda mixed race, NB, short and fat, ugly, afflicted with terrible fashion sense(the worst disability), and are of course a fucking mutantan #MutantLivesMatter #MutantPride #NoMutantPhobia Good god. What in the flying fuck on a Pogo Stick? I cannot believe, the whole team sat down, looked at this, and said "yeah this is fine". No executives stepped in and said "nah"? During all of the drafting processes this episode went through, not one single soul said "hey, maybe we shouldn't put this hideous, poorly designed demon in the show"? Please, I never want to see this fusion again. Worse yet, I heard testimony that there are a lot of people who love this thing, and think its cute. FUCKING CUTE.
Part One: Prologue.
Looking back on Season 1 of this show, I've come to the realization that it really isn't that good. It has a very rough start, like I mentioned. The show only really gets good around episode 26, halfway through the series. I said that I didn't really mind that much, because I enjoyed all the slice of life type filler episodes. This remains true, but people are right when they say it takes a long time for the show to become the show people are so obsessed with. My favorite episode of Season 1, the one that made me go "Yeah, I'm hooked. I wanna see where this show and its characters go.", was "Rose's Scabbard", which also fully cemented Pearl as my favorite character. Guess which episode that is? 45. Episode Forty-fucking-Five. You know the episode where Garnet sings her cool ripoff of Just the Two of Us and kicks in the shit of a buff orange bulldyke before crashing a ship into the earth? That's episode 51, the last episode of the first season.
This isn't to mention that it's obvious the people making this didn't know what they were doing at first. Steven is based on Rebecca Sugar's little brother, and The Crystal Gems are based on aspects of Sugar herself. Thus, it's no surprise that a lot of people don't like the characters at first, they're based on two liberal millenials after all. Sugar even wears thick rimmed glasses. I didn't have the same problem but I am a very lenient person when it comes to characters, and often find myself liking ones everyone else hates, but I can certainly see why that might be a problem. And why you might not wanna sit through 25 episodes about characters you don't really like fucking about.
These things combined with the slice of life episodes usually developing side characters no one really cares about, make the first season very difficult to get through for someone who for wasn't hypnotized by it for some reason like I was. I edited the score of S1 to a 4/5.
Season 2 on the other hand, I still rate a 5/5. I don't think there are any episodes I don't like in season 2, at least I can't think of any off the top of my head. Season 2 was fuckin' great, by then they knew what they were doing, you were already endeared by and invested in the characters, and you knew just enough about the "overarching"(not sure it is anymore) plot to really wanna keep goin'. It had some of my favorite episodes, like "Sworn to the Sword", "Chille Tid", "We Need to Talk", the whole sub-arc where Pearl does some fucked up shit and Garnet's traumatized by it, and of course all the Peridot episodes.
Then we have season 3. This is where things went wrong.
Part Two: In Too Deep
Okay, let's go.
I wanna start off by saying the whole season isn't bad. In fact, early on in it is really great, and a lot of the not good episodes are just mediocre. But there's the problem of the episode "Gem Drill", and to explain that we need a lil backstory.
So you know Season 2 was not meant to end where it did. It ended on episode 26, "Log Date: 7 15 2", a decidedly not season finale. This was because of behind the scenes stuff. CN renewed the show for 3 more seasons, BUT the seasons were now going to be 26 episodes instead of 51, and the episodes they had remaining for season 2 were going to be part of season 3. That's fine, right? Well yeah, except they went on hiatus again instead of continuing into S3. So we waited. And waited, with the few dates we got being pushed back. And then they came out with this season premier special of two episodes, called "In Too Deep". It came with this crazy fuckin' trailer that made it seem fuckin' EPIKKK AZ SHEEEEET BROOOOOO. Weeeeeeeeell, it wasn't.
The first episode, "Super Watermelon Island", was good. You got to see what became of the Watermelon Stevens created in one of the earlier episodes of S1, something I had no fucking clue would become relevant again. There was a cool fight against Malachite with Alexandrite and that was baller. Then came the episode "Gem Drill", the moment we were all waiting for, when we'd finally go and confront The Cluster, the world destroying eldritch abomination formed from the partial consciousness of tens of thousands of shattered gems, forced together by madmen(madwomen?), that was built up for at least half of Season 2!
And this episode was... uh... well it wasn't, bad exactly...
The episode was the same 10 minutes as always, and The Cluster was pacified in about half that time. Yeah. Some people complained about the method that was used, but if you're a fan of this show I don't see how that can bother you much. Steven used the power of love and understanding to pacify TC and convince it to help him put it in a protective bubble that will prevent it from forming completely and destroying the world, also allowing it to stay there until he can find away to fix it or at least mercy kill it. This is par for the course for SU. However, what's really bullshit is that this world stopping force of destruction was taken care of so easily. Like what the fuck? You build this thing up, you even show it looking similar to fucking LAVOS on a screen they were looking at, you make it seem like taking care of this thing is gonna be some big ordeal, maybe take several episodes at the least, and it's done in 5 god damn minutes? Are you kidding me? I got fuckin BLUE BALLS over this shit! I NEED TO CLIMAX GOD DAMMIT. WHERE IS MY CLIMAX!?
But okay, I was upset, but hey not a big deal right I mean I shoulda known. It wasn't the staff who hyped this up really, it was CN and their marketing. I fell for it, I shouldn't have expected something big. And hey! The next few episodes were real damn good!
"Same Old World", "Barn Mates", "Hit the Diamond"? All great episodes. And then came "Mr. Greg", my all time favorite fuckin' episode. Pearl goes with a newly enriched Greg and not-rich Steven to "Empire City" to spend some money and have a good time. It is here that, partially through song, Pearl and Greg resolve their differences and bond over their mutual fondness for Steven's mother, Rose Quartz. Pearl sings my favorite song in the whole show, "It's over, isn't it?" too.
Then, it happened. I guess the name of that song was a sign.
Part Three: It Begins.
Joe Johnston stopped being a storyboard artist on the show. While he's still credited in directing he's a "supervising" director, aka not really. He was responsible for the storyboarding of a lot of the better episodes, especially the early episodes of this season, including Super Watermelon Island(but not Gem Drill... hmm). He also seems to be supervising directing(???) less now as well. Somehow, the combination of Joe Johnston and Jeff Liu on a lot of the important episodes really helped it seems. He may have well been needed, as there were quite a lot of filler episodes after this.
And unlike the ones before a lot of these weren't very good, developed very little, and made it feel like no one knew what they were doing.
Also, at some point, I dunno when, allegedly another storyboard artist quit because they weren't gonna put his/her OTP in the actual show, so they hired a tumblr fanartist Sugar liked. I don't know if this is true, but I really wouldn't doubt it. I bet it was before a certain episode.
Now we're gonna do something a lil different. We're gonna mini-review each episode of Seasons 3(post-Mr. Greg) and 4 to better illustrate what went wrong, and why these seasons just aren't as good, and why I'm worried for the future of the show.
Part Four: Cartoon Network Renewed Us For 3 More Seasons, What Do We Do?
"Too Short to Ride":
I actually like this one, and it's actually not filler because it's where Peridot awakens to her metalmancy powers. She can now telekinetically move metals. WITH HER MIND. Also it's just fun and cute. But I can't help but notice she kinda seems... smaller than usual?
"The New Lars":
Shitty filler episode about Lars so who cares. Steven also gets the power to body-swap which is never used again and doesn't make sense to be a power he has.
"Beach City Drift":
Okay, now this fuckin' episode is good. I don't care that they refer to Stevonnie as "they" in this one, it's a fucking Initial D parody and it's great.
"Restaurant Wars & Kiki's Pizza Delivery Service":
These ones are okay I guess? Like, Pearl shows up in a waiter outfit and that's cute, there's also a End of Evangelion reference(you can't tell me that's not what it was), but it's about characters no one gives a shit about. They're filler. Next.
"Monster Reunion":
This one should be good but it's kinda not, and we don't really learn anything because Sugar doesn't know where she's going with this. It's about the Centipeedle Mother who we'd bubbled up to now. She comes out, regains a semblance of her original form, draws some shit that tells us she was once an officer, and that's really it. I think we leave her in one of the downed UFOs. Maybe next time.
"Alone at Sea":
This one ain't terrible but there's a strong feeling of Sugar's desire to make a commentary on homosexual relationships, and I just don't wanna hear her musings. Every time she comes back in to storyboard an episode this shows up at least once, and when we're talking about Jasper and Lapis it becomes very uncomfortable, and not a metaphor kids should be hearing. I don't like this one.
"Greg the Babysitter":
This episode is unnecessary and uninteresting, which is weird because I really like flashback to Greg and Rose's relationship episodes. Oh well.
"Gem Hunt":
This episode was actually good!
"Crack the Whip & Steven vs. Amethyst":
These two are also actually good. They develop Amethyst a lot more, and have some cool fight scenes against Jasper, and later with well... Steven and Amethyst. It goes more into Amethyst's feelings of inadequacy, something she and Pearl have in common, and actually manages to make me like her some because I feel like she's really finally starting to go through an arc. guesswhattheyfuckitup
"Bismuth":
This one's a two-parter and boy does it suck major balls. So in Lion's Mane, there was a sealed bubble with a strange gem in it. No one knew who or what this gem was or why it was sealed. There were many theories, and much speculation. Maybe it was some kind of huge threat, so big of one that Rose had to seal it away? Maybe Steven will unleash it and then have to defeat it, finally living up to his mother's legacy? Well, no, because this is the gem of Bismuth, an ugly ham-beast who's less feminine than Jasper, yet is still somehow a "she". Don't get me started on that stuff maybe some other time. But point is "she's" an ugly man-woman, so that's already one strike against her. Then of course is there's the problem of her feeling like a fanfiction OC. Garnet and Pearl remember her and actually really fucking like her, yet she was never mentioned before. She's also incredibly powerful and everyone thinks she's cool. She's also wise, reminding the gems of things they'd forgotten about. She also makes weapons, and upgrades all of the gems' weapons. At first I thought this was gonna be a thing, Amethyst even mentions it's weird they never mentioned her. You know that episode of Rick and Morty, with the alien that makes you have a flashback with it in it, and when you're done you think you've know it forever? I thought it was like that. That'd make sense right? That's why Rose sealed her away, she was a spy with crazy memory warping powers?
It's not that. The only twist is that Rose sealed Bismuth away because she went too HAM and made a pile-bunker to shatter gems with, and Rose was too much of a goody goody to let her do that. This episode sucks. But to be honest? The next ones are worse. This at least establishes that Rose wasn't so perfect, makes Steven start to question her(which leads to another arc of his), and also has him make the painful but necessary choice to incapacitate Bismuth and re-seal her. This next one? wew lad
"Beta & Earthlings":
Oh good lord. So you know how I said they fucked up this arc for Amethyst? This is how they do it. This episode is bad. Well the first half is fine, though I dunno how I feel about Peridot and Lapis making weird modern art that they call "meepmorp". Also huh, did Peridot get smaller again??? Anyway the real kicker comes when they go to the Beta Kindergarten where Jasper was made, and actually finds her there. She attacks them with a corrupted gem that she's tamed(which I call a Behemoth Gem, due to its design), as well as herself. Amethyst tries to defeat her and make up for her screw-ups before, but fails again. Then she launches into a really poorly written angst rant, to which Steven replies with some cringeworthy lines about their special snowflakeness... and then they fuse.
That's right. People wondered for a long time, which gem will Steven fuse with first? We know he can, he's fused with Connie to create Stevonnie. Well, it's Amethyst. And this is what their fusion looks like:
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
We'll be right back, take a break!~
And we're back! I've calmed down now. Oh, also, in that episode Steven learns his mother shattered Pink Diamond, one of the 4 Diamond Gems that rule the Gem Empire. Jasper is also finally defeated, as she's unable to maintain her form after fusing with the Behemoth Gem in a desperate attempt to gain the power to defeat the two. These things are overshadowed by... obvious things.
Fun fact, when I googled "Smokey Quartz" to find that image, I forgot to put in the SU qualifier and I also got a result for this(NSFW). Fitting. I love how that says CENSORED on it but it isn't?
"Back to the Moon & Bubbled":
When I read that there was gonna be an episode where they went back to the moon, I thought maybe we'd learn the story behind that weird Dark Matter orb that's housed on the moonbase. Instead, we just get attacked by the Ruby Squad from Hit the Diamond, and end up sucking them out the moonbase's door. But Steven gets lost in space too, and encloses himself in a bubble. Eventually, one of the rubies finds him and he actually lets her into his bubble. But the ruby tries to kill him and he lets her go. The episode ends with him actually out in space freezing to death I think, but luckily the CGs come and rescue him in the Rubies' ship. He then asks them about how Rose destroyed Pink Diamond and they basically tell him "yo mang leaders gotta make tough decisions and shiet if they wanna protect what's important and junk", which is good even though I'm making fun of it. But this is the season 3 finale. Where's the god damn climax sugar? Where is it? Why not end the season with a big climax like before? I guess we had that with the previous episodes but there's the problem of fucking SMOKEY QUARTZ.
So that's season 3. There weresome good episodes, some okay episodes, and some totally fucking shit episodes. I give it 3/5 as I previously mentioned 1/5. But what about Season 4?
Part 5: No Really, What Do We Do?
So you know Smokey Quartz was a god-awful abomination but I honestly still had positive feelings about S3. There was some actually good shit in there, such as the Pearl Prize Pouch. Thus, I wasn't really worried about Season 4. I probably should have been.
"Kindergarten Kid":
This one I feel mixed on. On one hand, it's cute and fun. On the other, it's obvious filler and we seriously didn't need it. Also did Peridot get smaller again? It's gotta be my imagination.
"Know Your Fusion":
Oh god dammit! That fucking freak is back again! Smokey Quartz makes a reappearance, and Pearl has the correct reaction to seeing it:
Yeah. Obviously this episode is the second advent of Satan. Filler, too.
"Buddy's Book":
Filler
"Mindful Education":
Fucking sucks because Takafumi Hori helped make it and there's a whole segment with low framerate animation. Also filler
"Future Boy Zoltron":
Filler that isn't good despite the name being both a reference to Voltron, and to Future Boy Conan.
"Last One Out of Beach City":
Filler that's more like a fanfiction. So while I liked the first minute or so of this episode it quickly goes downhill, right when it introduces another ham-beast man-woman that Pearl wants to scissor. I guess this one isn't as bad, but still. That's just one part of the problem. The other is that it's essentially about "Bad Pearl". So, Lauren Zuke, one of the staff, created a version Pearl she sometimes draws and posts on her tumblr, called Bad Pearl. Basically, Bad Pearl is Pearl but she's a ne'er-do-well, a punk, a brigand. She wears a biker jacket and torn jeans, is rude and crude, and smokes. She's essentially Bizarro Pearl. This is all well and good, especially because I'll be honest that's pretty hot, Zuke is free to do this if she wants. What she is not free to do, is try to insert this into the show. As much as I like seeing Pearl dressed like this because it's moe~, don't shove your fanfics into the show please. Not to mention, there also seems to be some of her personal fanon for Pearl in here too, as some of her lines are pretty inconsistent and seem to be coming from a place of not actually knowing the material well. Like Pearl not knowing how to operate pants. This episode sucks, but it has a few good moments.
"Onion Gang":
More filler. It's alright cuz I guess it kinda gives us more insight into Onion- which is needed- but it's still filler and not very good. I like this cute kid with the pot on his head tho.
"Gem Harvest":
A two-parter that's actually pretty good. It's got Dave Willis playing Steven's uncle Andy, who's a conservative that listens to AM Talk Radio who hates hippies and thinks the CGs are those(they are). He has to eventually warm up to Steven's new family, and find his place in it. There are a lot of funny moments in this episode, including an oddly self-aware part where the gems kinda make fun of themselves and the show, noting how melodramatic and silly it can be. Also, havin' Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force yell about dirty hippies is great! This episode isn't that good and doesn't warrant the double length, but you know what? I'm happy to finally get a good slice of life episode again.
"Three Gems and a Baby":
We then have an alright episode I guess. This somewhat develops the CGs and shows how lost they were without Rose. Yet, this really feels like a b-episode, and I'm not sure how I feel about them kidnapping Steven and stealing Greg's van. Yeah.
"Steven's Dream-That Will Be All":
Finally! A 5-episode arc, which tells us more about Blue and Yellow Diamond, their relationship with Pink Diamond, and what type of person Pink Diamond was. We learn a lot, and lots of interesting shit happens. It's actually pretty good. We're introduced to new gems, which this time don't have terrible character designs. Some weird high-concept Sci-Fi shit happens. There's finally god damn musical number after ages without one. Again, we learn more lore, some fun stuff happens, it's exciting and interesting! I'm so glad this happened man, this is good, finally it's back to form! What do you have for me next?
"The New Crystal Gems":
Oh. More filler. Okay, that's fine, you did just have a good 5 episode arc. But, uh, this one kinda sucks? Like you'd think oh, Peridot and Lapis, would be great right? No. It's just dumb. Also wait... no I'm sure of it this time. Peridot has been getting smaller. This is what happens when you insist on not using character models because CARTOONS ARE A MEDIUM OF EXPRESSION WE HAVE TO EXPRESS OURSELVES. Earlier in the series this didn't matter much, even if it led to some ugly faces very early on, but honestly this show has more animation errors than your average anime. And now that it's been brought to my attention no one on staff remembers how tall Peridot is supposed to be, I can't help but notice how inconsistent all this is. It's kinda pathetic, and with at least two storyboard artists gone and replaced with tumblrs, it's only gonna get worse.
"Storm in the Room":
Okay good, another good episode. Steven goes to Rose's room and uses the magic to conjure up a phantom of her and talk to it. He realizes he's talking to nothing though and starts flipping out at it, unleashing all of the pent up anger and frustration he's had for having to live in her shadow, and all the things she lied about. He comes to the conclusion he's wrong though, and while she may have done some terrible things, she didn't just unload all of her problems onto him, and she's want him to be him and not her. But this conflict isn't over, for now we have:
"Rocknaldo":
More filler, and again not good filler. It's just the staff showing their leftist sides and more Ronaldo who is even grating at my nerves now. Alex Jones he is not.
"Tiger Philanthropist":
More filler. Look, I liked the Pro Wrestling shit but if you're gonna make it relevant again, why do it so long after it was a thing? I know... they ran out of ideas. This episode ain't even good.
"Room for Ruby":
This one is alright but I just dunno. One of the Rubies shows back up and acts all nice but is actually evil and she just kinda steals the ship that they had which sucks cuz now they can't go to space, or, you know, the freakin' MOON where the FUCKING DARK MATTER ORB IS for a while which means oh hey we don't have to figure out what we're gonna do about that shit until then!
"Lion 4: Alternate Ending":
This episode isn't filler but it's kinda pointless and dumb. Steven is still upset about the Rose thing aside seeming like he got over it last time. That's fine, this happens in this show. People don't get over this kind of shit so easy. But he discovered a video tape that's nearly identical to the one from his mom before, but has her saying a different name. It turns out this was just made because they made these both before they knew what gender the kid was gonna be. Still, Steven seems to be over it now... but he probably isn't.
"Doug Out":
If it weren't for the ending this episode would be total filler. Some fun moments this one but overall who cares. I mean really? Connie's Dad? Well, at least Crispin Freeman is getting work.
"The Good Lars":
Can Lars just finish his character arc and get with Sadie already so we can stop having these episodes about him? Filler.
"Are You My Dad? & I Am My Mom":
Now here we go. Not filler, and good, more or less, even if we're introduced to yet another man-woman ham-beast, though this one is a soldier type like Jasper so that makes sense. A gem called Aquamarine is kidnapping people around beach city, with the help of two Topaz soldiers. It's revealed that she's kidnapping them based on a list Steven accidentally gave to Peridot way back in S2. This is great, not only does it keep stuff that far back relevant, but it also has Steven be directly responsible for the conflict and for the suffering of his friends. It makes him choose to sacrifice himself and be taken to Yellow Diamond to save them! This is also the season finale, and it might not be action packed but it's a good way to end it! That said... again this Topaz I just dunno. And this Aquamarine really feels wrong, like she shouldn't be a Gem Officer, she's kinda edgy. And there's more Lars shit I just don't care.
I give it 3/5 as well. 1/5
Part 6: Conclusion
Even with these good episodes, and I assume some good episodes coming in season 5, I just dunno. There's so many missteps in both of these seasons, and honestly S3 is worse because of shit like the anti-climax of The Cluster, Bismuth, and S-s-s-s... S-smokey Q-q-quartz. Although, S4 did have a good amount of filler episodes that I just did not care about or like. And actually S3 had some filler I actually liked and I didn't really even notice they were wasting my time. Really they're equal parts bad in different ways.
There's the matter of the inconsistent animation, removal of Joe Johnston from the storyboarding, the tumblr shit, filler upon filler, and honestly even when the episodes are good they don't feel as good as they used to be. That recent musical number even kinda sucked. The good episodes come off as significantly more clumsy than they used to, without the good execution and flow that I used to feel from them. Gone are the Rose's Scabbards, the Sworn to the Swords, even the Keystone Motels. I enjoy learning more about what's going on and the lore of the series but I'm also just not feeling it as much. I used to watch each new episode as soon as possible, but now I tend to put them off until I get in the mood to watch them.
I'm very worried, this show seems to have lost the focus and finesse it had and is making me wonder if it ever had it to begin with. Every time I feel like it's recovering it dips back down again. And I can't help but notice this feels like a trend that happens to long-running Shounen series. Eventually, since these stories are made to be written weekly and indefinitely, the writer stops coming up with any good ideas for where to go with the story or how to get to pre-determined plot points, and ends up writing lots of filler that isn't interesting in the slightest, before finally getting to the good shit. Then he goes right back into the filler. This seems to be happening to SU, and I'm pretty sure that eventually it'll become like all those Shounen series end up. They often become total crap, that are almost entirely filler content with the non-filler content being ass anyway. They continue until they are canceled due to poor sales, or they keep going doing more of this crap because it's attracted idiots who actually like what it does. And considering a large swathe of SU fans seem to love shit like Bismuth and Smokey Quartz...
How long before this show is just filler episodes with man-women and non-binaries prancing around being gay and crying? Some people say that's already what it is! I wish I didn't get so sucked into this show. Oh well. Cest la Vie.
Thanks for reading, if you did, I hoped you enjoyed! Play us out, Ryvius!
EDIT: Just in case it wasn't obvious, I'm only being so harsh because I like this show so much. I like it so it makes me sad to see it slip from the quality I think it had. I feel the need to be critical of it and analyze it, even nitpick it, because I care about it. I have such strong harsh opinions about these seasons because this is one of my favorite pieces of fiction ever. If didn't like or even hated this show now I would just say it's shit and stop watching it. And, some of this is exaggerated for comedic/emphatical effect. I really do still like this show and in reality I'm still glad I got into it. It's just I'm tired of series I like jumping the shark and turning into crap, and I'm afraid that'll happen here. I'm sure if you're also a fan of this show you can point to many many favorite episodes in the first 2, and even the 3rd season. But honestly ask yourself: What was your favorite episode of season 4? Why was it your favorite episode? Was it even remotely close to being as good as favorites from other seasons? If it isn't, consider why. And if you can't name one, well, that should be obvious by now.
Fuck Steven Universe. I'm out.
We'll be right back, take a break!~
And we're back! I've calmed down now. Oh, also, in that episode Steven learns his mother shattered Pink Diamond, one of the 4 Diamond Gems that rule the Gem Empire. Jasper is also finally defeated, as she's unable to maintain her form after fusing with the Behemoth Gem in a desperate attempt to gain the power to defeat the two. These things are overshadowed by... obvious things.
Fun fact, when I googled "Smokey Quartz" to find that image, I forgot to put in the SU qualifier and I also got a result for this(NSFW). Fitting. I love how that says CENSORED on it but it isn't?
"Back to the Moon & Bubbled":
When I read that there was gonna be an episode where they went back to the moon, I thought maybe we'd learn the story behind that weird Dark Matter orb that's housed on the moonbase. Instead, we just get attacked by the Ruby Squad from Hit the Diamond, and end up sucking them out the moonbase's door. But Steven gets lost in space too, and encloses himself in a bubble. Eventually, one of the rubies finds him and he actually lets her into his bubble. But the ruby tries to kill him and he lets her go. The episode ends with him actually out in space freezing to death I think, but luckily the CGs come and rescue him in the Rubies' ship. He then asks them about how Rose destroyed Pink Diamond and they basically tell him "yo mang leaders gotta make tough decisions and shiet if they wanna protect what's important and junk", which is good even though I'm making fun of it. But this is the season 3 finale. Where's the god damn climax sugar? Where is it? Why not end the season with a big climax like before? I guess we had that with the previous episodes but there's the problem of fucking SMOKEY QUARTZ.
So that's season 3. There were
Part 5: No Really, What Do We Do?
So you know Smokey Quartz was a god-awful abomination but I honestly still had positive feelings about S3. There was some actually good shit in there, such as the Pearl Prize Pouch. Thus, I wasn't really worried about Season 4. I probably should have been.
"Kindergarten Kid":
This one I feel mixed on. On one hand, it's cute and fun. On the other, it's obvious filler and we seriously didn't need it. Also did Peridot get smaller again? It's gotta be my imagination.
"Know Your Fusion":
Oh god dammit! That fucking freak is back again! Smokey Quartz makes a reappearance, and Pearl has the correct reaction to seeing it:
"Buddy's Book":
Filler
"Mindful Education":
Fucking sucks because Takafumi Hori helped make it and there's a whole segment with low framerate animation. Also filler
"Future Boy Zoltron":
Filler that isn't good despite the name being both a reference to Voltron, and to Future Boy Conan.
"Last One Out of Beach City":
Filler that's more like a fanfiction. So while I liked the first minute or so of this episode it quickly goes downhill, right when it introduces another ham-beast man-woman that Pearl wants to scissor. I guess this one isn't as bad, but still. That's just one part of the problem. The other is that it's essentially about "Bad Pearl". So, Lauren Zuke, one of the staff, created a version Pearl she sometimes draws and posts on her tumblr, called Bad Pearl. Basically, Bad Pearl is Pearl but she's a ne'er-do-well, a punk, a brigand. She wears a biker jacket and torn jeans, is rude and crude, and smokes. She's essentially Bizarro Pearl. This is all well and good, especially because I'll be honest that's pretty hot, Zuke is free to do this if she wants. What she is not free to do, is try to insert this into the show. As much as I like seeing Pearl dressed like this because it's moe~, don't shove your fanfics into the show please. Not to mention, there also seems to be some of her personal fanon for Pearl in here too, as some of her lines are pretty inconsistent and seem to be coming from a place of not actually knowing the material well. Like Pearl not knowing how to operate pants. This episode sucks, but it has a few good moments.
"Onion Gang":
More filler. It's alright cuz I guess it kinda gives us more insight into Onion- which is needed- but it's still filler and not very good. I like this cute kid with the pot on his head tho.
"Gem Harvest":
A two-parter that's actually pretty good. It's got Dave Willis playing Steven's uncle Andy, who's a conservative that listens to AM Talk Radio who hates hippies and thinks the CGs are those(they are). He has to eventually warm up to Steven's new family, and find his place in it. There are a lot of funny moments in this episode, including an oddly self-aware part where the gems kinda make fun of themselves and the show, noting how melodramatic and silly it can be. Also, havin' Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force yell about dirty hippies is great! This episode isn't that good and doesn't warrant the double length, but you know what? I'm happy to finally get a good slice of life episode again.
"Three Gems and a Baby":
We then have an alright episode I guess. This somewhat develops the CGs and shows how lost they were without Rose. Yet, this really feels like a b-episode, and I'm not sure how I feel about them kidnapping Steven and stealing Greg's van. Yeah.
"Steven's Dream-That Will Be All":
Finally! A 5-episode arc, which tells us more about Blue and Yellow Diamond, their relationship with Pink Diamond, and what type of person Pink Diamond was. We learn a lot, and lots of interesting shit happens. It's actually pretty good. We're introduced to new gems, which this time don't have terrible character designs. Some weird high-concept Sci-Fi shit happens. There's finally god damn musical number after ages without one. Again, we learn more lore, some fun stuff happens, it's exciting and interesting! I'm so glad this happened man, this is good, finally it's back to form! What do you have for me next?
"The New Crystal Gems":
Oh. More filler. Okay, that's fine, you did just have a good 5 episode arc. But, uh, this one kinda sucks? Like you'd think oh, Peridot and Lapis, would be great right? No. It's just dumb. Also wait... no I'm sure of it this time. Peridot has been getting smaller. This is what happens when you insist on not using character models because CARTOONS ARE A MEDIUM OF EXPRESSION WE HAVE TO EXPRESS OURSELVES. Earlier in the series this didn't matter much, even if it led to some ugly faces very early on, but honestly this show has more animation errors than your average anime. And now that it's been brought to my attention no one on staff remembers how tall Peridot is supposed to be, I can't help but notice how inconsistent all this is. It's kinda pathetic, and with at least two storyboard artists gone and replaced with tumblrs, it's only gonna get worse.
"Storm in the Room":
Okay good, another good episode. Steven goes to Rose's room and uses the magic to conjure up a phantom of her and talk to it. He realizes he's talking to nothing though and starts flipping out at it, unleashing all of the pent up anger and frustration he's had for having to live in her shadow, and all the things she lied about. He comes to the conclusion he's wrong though, and while she may have done some terrible things, she didn't just unload all of her problems onto him, and she's want him to be him and not her. But this conflict isn't over, for now we have:
"Rocknaldo":
More filler, and again not good filler. It's just the staff showing their leftist sides and more Ronaldo who is even grating at my nerves now. Alex Jones he is not.
"Tiger Philanthropist":
More filler. Look, I liked the Pro Wrestling shit but if you're gonna make it relevant again, why do it so long after it was a thing? I know... they ran out of ideas. This episode ain't even good.
"Room for Ruby":
This one is alright but I just dunno. One of the Rubies shows back up and acts all nice but is actually evil and she just kinda steals the ship that they had which sucks cuz now they can't go to space, or, you know, the freakin' MOON where the FUCKING DARK MATTER ORB IS for a while which means oh hey we don't have to figure out what we're gonna do about that shit until then!
"Lion 4: Alternate Ending":
This episode isn't filler but it's kinda pointless and dumb. Steven is still upset about the Rose thing aside seeming like he got over it last time. That's fine, this happens in this show. People don't get over this kind of shit so easy. But he discovered a video tape that's nearly identical to the one from his mom before, but has her saying a different name. It turns out this was just made because they made these both before they knew what gender the kid was gonna be. Still, Steven seems to be over it now... but he probably isn't.
"Doug Out":
If it weren't for the ending this episode would be total filler. Some fun moments this one but overall who cares. I mean really? Connie's Dad? Well, at least Crispin Freeman is getting work.
"The Good Lars":
Can Lars just finish his character arc and get with Sadie already so we can stop having these episodes about him? Filler.
"Are You My Dad? & I Am My Mom":
Now here we go. Not filler, and good, more or less, even if we're introduced to yet another man-woman ham-beast, though this one is a soldier type like Jasper so that makes sense. A gem called Aquamarine is kidnapping people around beach city, with the help of two Topaz soldiers. It's revealed that she's kidnapping them based on a list Steven accidentally gave to Peridot way back in S2. This is great, not only does it keep stuff that far back relevant, but it also has Steven be directly responsible for the conflict and for the suffering of his friends. It makes him choose to sacrifice himself and be taken to Yellow Diamond to save them! This is also the season finale, and it might not be action packed but it's a good way to end it! That said... again this Topaz I just dunno. And this Aquamarine really feels wrong, like she shouldn't be a Gem Officer, she's kinda edgy. And there's more Lars shit I just don't care.
Part 6: Conclusion
Even with these good episodes, and I assume some good episodes coming in season 5, I just dunno. There's so many missteps in both of these seasons, and honestly S3 is worse because of shit like the anti-climax of The Cluster, Bismuth, and S-s-s-s... S-smokey Q-q-quartz. Although, S4 did have a good amount of filler episodes that I just did not care about or like. And actually S3 had some filler I actually liked and I didn't really even notice they were wasting my time. Really they're equal parts bad in different ways.
There's the matter of the inconsistent animation, removal of Joe Johnston from the storyboarding, the tumblr shit, filler upon filler, and honestly even when the episodes are good they don't feel as good as they used to be. That recent musical number even kinda sucked. The good episodes come off as significantly more clumsy than they used to, without the good execution and flow that I used to feel from them. Gone are the Rose's Scabbards, the Sworn to the Swords, even the Keystone Motels. I enjoy learning more about what's going on and the lore of the series but I'm also just not feeling it as much. I used to watch each new episode as soon as possible, but now I tend to put them off until I get in the mood to watch them.
I'm very worried, this show seems to have lost the focus and finesse it had and is making me wonder if it ever had it to begin with. Every time I feel like it's recovering it dips back down again. And I can't help but notice this feels like a trend that happens to long-running Shounen series. Eventually, since these stories are made to be written weekly and indefinitely, the writer stops coming up with any good ideas for where to go with the story or how to get to pre-determined plot points, and ends up writing lots of filler that isn't interesting in the slightest, before finally getting to the good shit. Then he goes right back into the filler. This seems to be happening to SU, and I'm pretty sure that eventually it'll become like all those Shounen series end up. They often become total crap, that are almost entirely filler content with the non-filler content being ass anyway. They continue until they are canceled due to poor sales, or they keep going doing more of this crap because it's attracted idiots who actually like what it does. And considering a large swathe of SU fans seem to love shit like Bismuth and Smokey Quartz...
How long before this show is just filler episodes with man-women and non-binaries prancing around being gay and crying? Some people say that's already what it is! I wish I didn't get so sucked into this show. Oh well. Cest la Vie.
Thanks for reading, if you did, I hoped you enjoyed! Play us out, Ryvius!
Fuck Steven Universe. I'm out.
smokey quartz my waifu
ReplyDeleteAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Delete